I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
