Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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