The maid of honor just puked.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize