I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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