lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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