You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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