Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
