Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
