Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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