Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize