Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
