That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
