Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
