Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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