i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
