Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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