dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
