yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
