Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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