lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
