u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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