I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
