Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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