His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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