You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I smell stomach acid.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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