Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
