I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize