Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
nutella sex= disaster
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
