I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yo dont text me then not text me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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