You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
