Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
