Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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