too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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