At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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