Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
