No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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