i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I AM VODKA MAN
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
