Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
