i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize