it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
