my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Of course I have a pirate flag
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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