if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
