Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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