CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
