Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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