Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize