dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have aggressive nipples.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
