Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
