took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
