So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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