I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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