i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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