Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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