I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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