you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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