i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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