when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
