i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
