idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize