I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
