All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
