So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
