What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
