I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
